This is an interesting and often challenging one, don’t you think?
While Socrates (and many others) may have advised, well, “Know Thyself,” in practice I don’t always find it so easy.
As an empath, I am always picking up “stuff” from other people.
I am always scanning for “Is this mine, or is it not?”
Sure, some of it is so obviously NOT mine, but so much I can relate to…so how to deal?
Here’s the other complication. Our empathic nature is driven by physiological systems designed to produce empathy. It helps us connect and build tribe.
So I am always empathically picking up the emotions, sensations, pre-movements, and often even thoughts or the tone of those thoughts just because I have the biological structures, such as my mirror neuron system and the intricate workings of my humongous 10th cranial nerve, the vagus nerve, doing continual reporting.
And as my nervous system collects all of those “goings-on” in the other person, I know that because I am not only seeing/hearing it on the outside but experiencing it in my own insides.
You’re perceptive and sensitive. So you have probably already guessed that we are back to the wisdom of Socrates.
I do need to get deeply acquainted with myself to have any hope of differentiating what is mine from what my empath self is picking up from another.
And that “just” requires…lots of attention to what I DO know lies in my area of reactions, cultural (ethnic, class, geographic, age cohort, gender, etc.) history and values, feelings both somatic and emotional (because they are intertwined), and my history of preferences and reactions.
Constantly singing to myself the old song from “The King and I,” “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…”
In short, I need to know ME.
The better I can distinguish myself, the better I can discern what is not really me.
Not an easy task, you say?
Well, it is quite a useful one, a worthy one, and a journey that will help you be more grounded in your being so that you are less rocked by others.
Empath, know thyself!
P.S. I will say, just as an aside here, this is one of those goals I have for you as part of our first journey to Build Better Boundaries (sign up below and I will let you know when this class goes live), but also for future programs exploring yourself and increasing your own capacity and resilience for life.
P.P. S. If you haven’t already, sign up here so that you are always alerted to opportunities to increase your resilience as a happy, healthy Empath. When you sign up, you will also get a two free guided meditations and accompanying pdf to teach you how to turn down the stimulation and feel more present fast!
