Here in the U.S. we are coming into a holiday week—Thanksgiving.
Now there are various tales about the origins of this holiday that omit “the rest of the story” in their telling. Digging into the history of the arrival of the early European settlers reveals the false narrative of the easy sharing of bounty between the white settlers and the native people as they peacefully came together.
And while for many, Thanksgiving is a time taken to truly reflect on what one is grateful for, for others it is a time that is filled with deep loneliness. A time of feeling the depths of not being truly met by others. A time of feeling the pain of centuries of dominance by one group systematically oppressing others.
How do we, as empaths, honor the diverse experiences of what this holiday—and those similar to it in other countries—means to different people?
I want to take the “easy” route and wax on about all that I so appreciate in my life, empathic gifts included. For I do feel very, very lucky to have access to rich aspects of experience that to many range from subtle to seemingly non-existent—the ability to know and feel into deeper aspects of life, of other beings.
I feel lucky to have the resources I do have—born in the US as an able-bodied white person with the privilege conveyed by that heritage, along with energetic and economic resources facilitate in part from my racial and class identity.
However, there are many people for whom this first of the winter holidays reinforces a sense of alienation, of not feeling comfortable in the world, regardless of various forms of social status and privilege…
I think of the people I encounter—and the many I will never meet—who feel intense loneliness. Often these are folks whose earlier circumstances meant that experiencing safety, trustworthiness, respect, and love were in short supply.
Growing up in safety is what helps our bodies grow up healthy and calm.
We learn how to love—and how to be loved—by experiencing love.
So how can someone truly feel and give love when interpersonal safety has been elusive?
I think of the folks whose current lives are filled with conflict—family troubles, unsafe neighborhoods, fights at home and among the relatives, threatening circumstances due to a lack of political safety—dealing with immigration, environmental, or civil rights conflict, for example.
You can’t let down your guard to laugh and love when you are under constant threat.
And it is hard to feel both incredibly vulnerable and risk reaching out to someone when your experience has been that you will be rejected or threatened.
For any of us who are struggling with illness—within themselves and/or their loved ones, it is difficult to have full energy for living, to summon light-heartedness, to be upbeat. Dark nights of the soul happen in many forms.
I am thankful for my own health—however long I get to enjoy it—as well as the ways any of us find our bodies and minds bouncing back from the physical, psychological, and spiritual challenges of life.
May we all reach out to those needing that contact with a kind heart and an open door.
I know I carry a responsibility to continually tune my own health and well-being as a highly sensitive person:
How do I hold as sacred the paths any of us traverse?
How do I best take care of myself so that I can genuinely and cleanly offer the company—and some of the skills picked up along the way—to those in need?
So in this season of gratitude, I give thanks for you, whoever you are, whatever your particular gifts and challenges, for being on the planet now. We ALL have something to offer—whether a talent, a skill, or perhaps our pain as a teaching to others to dip into their hearts and find where the spark of loving-kindness resides.
I hope you take it as my deepest wish that you are able to feel the blessing of some gift, some sweet soul (of any species) in your life.
May I—and you–reach out to those needing safe and loving contact with our hearts full of kindness and compassion.
And that may include reaching IN to bring such loving-kindness to yourself!
A peaceful and loving Thanksgiving to you!
