This morning I lost it. Rage came pouring into me like a sudden tsunami hitting my shore. I yelled. I screamed. I slammed down my dishes filled with a lovely breakfast waiting to offer me morning fuel.
It felt absolutely huge, and while I knew a good portion of it was my own fight response taking over, I knew another portion of it was empathically feeling the hot fear, hatred, and anger of those threatened by our increasingly small world and doing whatever they can to stop the rising up of all of Earth’s peoples demanding safety, basic needs, fair access, a healthy planet, human rights…
Whether mine or that belonging to others, this core survival energy is powerful stuff.
What triggered this? Walking into the kitchen where I could hear another news report about the ways our leaders are creating more of a divide, more destruction to values of compassion, kindness, and a sense of human family. It was coming from my spouse’s iPad.
This particular story for some reason cracked it open for me. I was just overwhelmed, and my nervous system exploded into a raging fight response.
I tried breathing, focusing on enlarging my capacity to hold this latest of hateful news. Not big enough.
Go run. We both gave that instruction to me. Need some powerful movement NOW to deactivate this rage in a safe way.
So out my door, down my steep driveway, up my steep road I ran (yes, it is hilly here), thankful for the cold, clear air to bring me back down. A way to not blow up at a loved one, not do true damage, not implode myself. Use up that flood of stress chemicals for fight or flight.
I wasn’t OK-OK when I got back, but I was better. Still having to feel the anger, despair, and the pain that people who promote fear and division elicit so masterfully. But at least now my nervous system was more regulated. I could now work with my feelings, safely, with more skill.
I have to be very, very careful about how I take in “news.” Better in print, better when I am prepared for it. My exposure needs to be in titrated amounts, sandwiched between good doses of what is loving, compassionate, empathic, respectful.
So think about this for yourself. What happens when you feel overwhelmed by forces so much larger than yourself? How do you manage it now? How can you hold the pain and fear AND increase your own capacity and coherence? These are important questions to sustain our empathy and our health. I sure would love to know.
P.S. Want to have a quick remedy to turn the stress down? Go grab two free meditations and their accompanying PFD at
Signing up also means you will get the early bird announcement when my first course, Build Better Boundaries, goes live. This highly interactive course is designed to give you skills to create Healthy Boundaries that really reduce the stress and strain on you. After all, a healthier Empath is a Resilient Empath!
